As mentioned before, one of the hard things about moving is making new connections. Some connections are thrust upon us, through new jobs or new schools. Others have to be sought out and pursued.
What is obvious to me is our need of connection. It is not good for people to be alone, as God himself stated in Genesis 2. The Trinity has been in eternal community with each other, and desires community for us as well. The enemy fights against that. He loves it when we are isolated, lonely, and listening only to his twisted lies, or to our own thoughts which go round and round, and are likely ill-informed and dull, without the sharpening influence of others.
Connections.
In our ongoing search for a new church community, it became clear that a welcoming attitude and warm greeting could go a long way in overlooking other aspects that might not be as appealing.
At last week’s potential ‘new church home’, there was a “meet and greet” time that was enthusiastically embraced by its members. In fact, it seemed to go on forever–at least 5 minutes. That’s a long time when you are only greeted by one person, who turns around from the pew in front of you, says “hello”, shakes your hand, and then nothing else. We stood awkwardly for awhile, then sat down and waited for the roar to quiet down and the sermon to begin.
Afterwards, we walked reasonably slowly toward the doors, and wondered if anyone would approach us.
No one did.
We might have given the benefit of our doubts; but it was squashed under the seeming lack of interest in The New Family, sitting alone in a pew.
Perhaps it was God’s plan for us to have the church that seems to match up better theologically, be the one that was the friendliest.
[Well, other than our "home" denomination church that we visited on the first Sunday, which was stiff as a frozen towel left out on clothesline in a Nebraska winter. :( ]
It certainly makes the choice easier—do we go to the church that made us feel the most welcome? The one that seemed genuinely glad we were there? The people who actually asked about us and seemed interested in us?
Uh, yes.
I also had the urge from the Spirit this week to make some bread to take over to our two nearest neighbors, as a way of connecting with them some more. The urge had to be from the Spirit, because a) I have a historically awful track record of making bread from scratch, and b) it is much more my inclination to not do it, and just stay home.
I had, however, made this recipe that was pinned by my daughter-in-law on Pinterest, and it actually turned out well; so the excuse of “I can’t make bread!” was shot down. And I knew enough to know that the thoughts of “they won’t want any bread; they don’t want you to bother them; they are not interested in knowing you” were again, whispers of the enemy. I’d heard them before.
They didn’t carry as much weight this time.
(Plus, I had already told my mom that I was going to do it, and I knew she would probably ask me about it on our Monday phone call. :) Accountability and all that.)
So, after our two-mile hike in the glorious sunshine of Sunday, Marc and I headed over to the neighbors’ houses, first one, and then the other.
And guess what? They were pleased to see us. They invited us in. They visited with us.
And we even met up with another neighbor who was out walking, in between the other two visits.
We made connections.
It isn’t much. They may not be end up being our “best friends”.
But it’s a start. It’s a connection.
And even though it’s small, it feels good.
January 22, 2013 at 3:47 pm
Stiff as a frozen towel in a Nebraska winter? Not usually the analogy I use, but a goodie. :)
Thank you, thank you for reminding us to welcome The New Family. I would call that God using you to bless others here you don’t even know. Awesome, I say.
Glad your mama is keeping you accountable, too. :)
January 22, 2013 at 6:51 pm
I would venture to guess none of the people around you at that church has visited a new church before. It’s an experience that certainly makes you more aware of the new people around you and how you interact with them (or don’t), once you do find a church home.
Funnily, the first church (home denom.) we went to here, there were a few people who were immediately super friendly (invited us over for dinner within minutes of meeting us). But then over the long term, other than those same two couples who first greeted us, the rest of the community was VERY closed off and hard to break into. Eventually we left (for that and other reasons). I don’t think we gave people at the second church much of a chance to initiate; we were so desperate for community that we jumped in right away (tracked down small group leaders and invited ourselves over). :)
January 22, 2013 at 9:07 pm
just you wait till they all uncover how cool you are, you’ll never have any time to yourself ;) love you and so glad that you had some good interactions with your neighbors!
January 22, 2013 at 9:28 pm
This post makes me smile because it’s good to know that we
are not the only ones this happened to. We have gone to numerous
churches where no one said hello to us. Or a fleeting hello with no
follow up questions. What’s up with that?? I’m sure our New England
stories would resemble your Northwest ones. And in the spirit of
geographic equality, even some of the churches in the South we
visited didn’t say hello. :)
January 23, 2013 at 11:54 am
Yes, Charity, I’m pretty sure that no region of the country, or church affiliation or denomination, doesn’t have churches that fit into the “not-very-friendly” category. Unfortunately.
But glad to hear it wasn’t just us or our lack of deodorant or something. :)
January 24, 2013 at 8:26 pm
Wait wait so have you found a church yet? Maybe I’m confused by this: “Perhaps it was God’s plan for us to have the church that seems to match up better theologically, be the one that was the friendliest.” I thought that you hadn’t been to a friendly church yet? OR HAVE YOU? :)
Also I’m glad that bread worked out! I’ve been wanting to make it, but I don’t have a big glass Pyrex bowl. It looks so delicious though!
January 24, 2013 at 10:29 pm
We have been to a friendly church. That is the one we are going to go to. :) Sorry for any confusion.
The first time I made the bread, I used a Pyrex bowl for one loaf, and a loaf pan for the other. The second time, I just made it in two loaf pans. Worked fine. So no need to wait for the Pyrex bowl! (It won’t be the pretty, “poofy” look as in that photo on the other blog, though.)
January 25, 2013 at 8:31 pm
Oh sister I feel ya. It can be so painful, uncomfortable, and just plain lonely to be new. Been there… Ugh. But I just know your people are right around the corner. Soon, very soon like Tara said you will be so busy longing for alone time…praying/hoping for that.
January 26, 2013 at 6:01 pm
Hi! I’m really loving reading your blog and reconnecting to
you. It sounds like you have a challenge before you. I’m glad your
bread idea worked out. You must live a long way from neighbors. How
different that is than living in Lincoln. I’m praying for you
guys!
January 26, 2013 at 6:46 pm
We live pretty close to the neighbors, actually–we are on a cul-de-sac with several other houses, although we are in a more rural setting than Lincoln. (Maybe I confused you with my hiking comment; we went for the hike first, then when we got back to our house, we went over to the neighbors. :)) Thanks for your prayers!